Depression

Sometimes I think that depression is just something I encourage within myself because I can, and because I don't want to think about anything. But other times it controls me and nothing I can do can bring me out of the blankness that invades my soul.

So my question is.. Is depression self inflicted or a disease?

I don't think there is an answer to this, only more questions, different views. I suppose this is why it's so hard to treat depression because there are so many causes, some self inflicted, some not.

Some days I feel on top of the world, and nothing can touch me, other days I don't even want to get out of bed, I don't even want to breathe. It just hurts.

I don't understand why I suffer from depression, even if I do suffer, or whether I'm drowning in self-pity. God I'm so pathetic