sex and relationship

So over the past couple of weeks I've been seeing this guy.  I was completely honest with him with the fact that as a 34 year old woman, I have never been in a relationship and I haven't had sex either. He was also honest with the fact he had just come out of a 17 year relationship, with the last two years being as a marriage.  He finished the marriage in a bad way. She cheated on him.  He had only been our of the relationship about four months.

As a result we agreed to take it slowly, working on the friendship side of things and then dee where else things would go.  So four days after we had met, we went of our first date, cinema and a meal.  It was lovely and I enjoyed myself.  We had also been talking on messenger every day since we had met.  Two day after that he asked if he could come over.... I nievly said it was fine and all he wanted to do was make out.  I was not comfortable with this. He didn't want to talk, just make out.  He also started putting his hands all over me and my boobs. I was defiantly not happy with this and told him as such.  I had to keep getting him to back off.  I was relieved when he went home.

We got together again at a group event and we struggled to know what to do. Do we hold hands do we not.  During all this time we are talking on messenger, usually him asking me when he thinks I'll be ready for sex as he's a very sexual person and would really like it, but doesn't want to put any pressure on me.  About four days after that he invited me to his.  So I went, again his hands where all over me, hugging me and stroking me constantly.  Made me feel really claustrophobic. 

So about a day after that, he wanted me to put a date on when he thought I would be ready to have sex with him.  When I could start feeling comfortable etc. I told him that I would be ready when I am ready and he'd just need to be patient. 

I know that I could have had sex at any time with him, but in truth I wasn't sure how I felt about him, especially with the thought of barely knowing him.  I wanted... and told him... that I wanted to take things slowly, get to know each other before we started anything physical.

As a result we are not seeing each other any more and he just wants to be friends. Apparently being physical is more important than getting to know each other. Which is fine, if that's what he's looking for.  But now we're not seeing each other he wants us to be friends, I'm fine with that. However, and this is a bit of a big however, in the week that has been between us not seeing each other and me writing this he has text me or messenged me at lest five or six times a day.  As soon as my phone is on, there is some sort of  message from him.  I had had to fake going away so he would leave me alone but I still get a message from him as soon as my phone is switched on.  I dread putting my phone on, I dread going into facebook.

I have come to the realisation that he is extremely lonely and needs someone to fill his wife's shoes, not be his wife, but fill that gap in his life. I on the other hand an a singleton, I am not going to change that life style for anyone.  They would have to be someone very special.  I have a very busy life, I will change things to fit someone in, and eventually rearrange everything for a special person, however he went from barely knowing each other to trying be an instant couple.  I couldn't cope, and he couldn't cope.  But he is desperately lonely,

He is part of a group I am very active with, which means I will see him at least once a week. I need a break from him, I've tried to tell him to leave me alone but he then complains that I'm taking anything too personally and how are we meant to be friends if we don't talk to each other.

I actually started thinking that I was in the wrong, and that I should invite him around and let him have his way, because at the end of the day I should have sex at least once in my life.  Then I was talking with a friend of mine and and she made me realise that I am 34 years old and that if I am going to have sex it needs to be on my terms and when I'm comfortable with it, and no one should pressure me into doing anything else.

However, I still feel like I did something wrong and that I'm the fuck up. I suppose that's what I'll always be.