There is something I want to happen to me, the problem is that I know it's wrong. but I think about it day and night, I can almost feel it. I want it to happen so much that I hurt. I feel the need within in every bone in my body, my soul yearns for it. I pray day after day for it to happen, but it never comes. I dream about it, visualise it in my mine, but it is never to be. It is wrong that I feel this way. It is not normal to have this feeling, but I do. I feel that my life is incomplete and I don't think This event will make my life any richer, but I want it. Every night I pray that it can happen to me, but I know it will never be. Regardless how much I wish or pray or positive mojo towards it. It will never happen. I want to feel and expressed this event, but it will never be. I must forget this dream and move on with my life. I want that pain though, I want the terror. What will it take for this event to happen to me? What will I have to sacrifice for it to happen to me.
I even dreamed about it last night. I could feel it all happen to me. Although I was terrified, I loved every second of it. I could physically feel it all happen to me. Which of course, has made me want it all the more. I have to get over this feeling. I've lived with this feeling for years, I'm not sure I could give it up even if I wanted to.
the best laid plans
9 months ago
4 comments:
I don't want to say what "it" is because it's too wrong, but I can tell you it's nothing sexual. I'm not even comfortable admiting it to myself what "it" is.
Of course it is about physical harm. That's why she won't tell. It has to be a 'she'.
It's not about me doing physicaly harm to myself, not in anyway, but it could lead to physical harm.
Why do you think I'm a she
what is "it"? i want to know. i dont care if you dont want to tell just spit it out
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