Medication

I wanted freedom
Bound and restricted
I tried to give you up
But I'm addicted

Time is Running Out: Muse

Many years ago I was but on Tramadol for chronic back pain.  Tramadol is a powerful painkiller with some interesting side effects.  As always side effects can vary from person to person.  For me my appetite was suppressed to the point I actually managed to lost weight (which on my diet is quite impressive).   Which made me feel amazing.  I didn't sleep but I was more productive and actually accomplished a lot more than I currently do or have done ever before. I was in awe of what I managed to do and who I became.  I miss the me on Tramadol.  I had some majorly bad back pain earlier in the week. I  had no painkillers so I went to the doctors and got some of my tramadol again.

My appetite was suppressed, I was actually stoked to try and get some work done and have got a load of work for my new role done.  I felt good, I felt human, I felt amazing.  Would it really be wrong of me to try and get put on tramadol on a full time basis so I can be a better person, so I can be more productive in all that I do, that I can start to fit in my clothes again!  How could it ever be wrong to take something that allows you to be a better version of yourself.

I have taken anti-depressants to help me out when things get really bad for me, that is semi-social acceptable to do, so why can't I take Tramadol on a permanent basis and use that as my anti-depressant.  

Bubble expansion

We never thought we'd find a place where we belong.
Don't have to stand alone, we'll never let you fall.
Don't need permission to decide what you believe.

I said jump, down on Jump Street.
I said jump, down on Jump Street.

Your friends will be there when your back is to the wall.
You'll find you'll need us cause there's no one else to call.
When it was hopeless a decision is what you need.

You'd better be ready to, be ready to jump.
21 Jump Street.
Theme from 21 Jump Street

So I'm still waiting for the bubble to pop, but I have had some amazing news today... news which I can only share on here because I can not share with anyone in RL.  I am being made temporary tutor at college as our current on just got fired and they needed someone else to step in.  I'm getting tutor pay, and currently trying to convince them that I will do a good job and they should help me get my quals. So bubble hasn't pop yet but when it does I wonder if I can cope.  I hope so.