Music and it's healing quantity.

"Never made it as a wise man
I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing
Tired of living like a blind man
I'm sick of sight without a sense of feeling

And this is how you remind me
This is how you remind me
Of what I really am
This is how you remind me
Of what I really am"

 How You Remind Me: Nickleback

I was reminded this week how healing music can be.  I've been a bit down this week, more than anything because of being off work for so long and with nothing to do. One day I felt so bad I got in the car and started driving.  I had my own mix CD in the car, I put the music on loud and drove for about three hours. I felt so much better after that.  What it did remind me though is that I need music to help me with my mood.  Music also can help me to put into words how I feel, sometimes it might be the lyrics other times it might be the feel of the music, sometimes it's a mix of the two.

I really do enjoy putting on my headphones (SkullCandy thank you so much for having amazing headphones!) and put the music on, probably  louder than I should do, but I lay in bed and just allow the music to just completely consume me.  Sometimes I sing along, sometimes I just mouth along and sometimes I just let the music take over and I get lost in it.

It made me go through my music and just see what they would stir within me.  To begin with it was amazing and I remembered things I thought I had forgotten, but then there was the music that brought back feelings that I didn't want to remember and thoughts I didn't want in my head.  So I went back to music I know that help me through. 

The funny part is that two of the songs that really do help me and mean the world to me actually trigger memories of a time in my life that wasn't good, and yet they make me feel better and I'm sure it's because I beat things that time.  Slowly but surely I beat things, and perhaps that's why they help me and make me feel amazing, 'cos I know I can fight some fights.

Not sure it's going to help with the big one that I'm due.

However, the lesson I have learnt (or should I say re-learnt) is that the right music really can make a HUGE difference in ones life.  I really need to find the soundtrack that allows me to fight, the big one as well as the small one.  Music might just be my way out of the mess that is coming my way.

SONGS!!!

Here is some new year fun.  As we come to the end of 2010 and begin 2011, have a go at working out what songs are in this passage of text, and if you can tell me who sang them!

A new billboard went up the other day, it was all about change, the tag line said 'Come with us, run with us, we're gonna change the world, you'll be amazed, so full of praise when we've re-arrange your world.  We're gonna change your world'.  I stood there so amazed at something incredible cos it's common place knowledge that everybody wants to change the world, everybody wants to change the world, but no one, no one wants to die. 

I turned my back and walked down the street.  Tonight, out on the street, out in the moonlight, and dammit this feels too right, it's just like deja vu as the world won't change.  The world doesn't want to change.  I know that I will never be anything today, I'm tried to give, I don't want to try, I'm afraid to live, I'm afraid to die.  I walk into a church, wanting to pray, wanting to pray because I just wanna feel real love, fill the home that I live in, I've got too much life running through these veins, going to waste, I don't wanna die but I'm not keen on living either.

As I sit there, silence is all around me, drowning me, taking over and I know that the game of life is hard to play, I'm gonna loose it anyway, the loosing card of some delay so this al all I have to say 'Open up the gaes of the church and let me out of here! Too many people have lied in the name of Christ for anyone to heed the call, so many people have died in the name of Christ that I can't believe it all.  I run to leave, then I heard it, the small calm voice whispering in my sould 'I love you to death, I love you to death, I love you to death, 'til there's nothing left, I'll love you to death, I love you.'

My soul jumps for joy, singing at the top of it's voice, 'this isn't me' I used to say 'all the love was so gone, it feels so good to be alive I've been dead for so long'.  Walking home I feel as though my whole body is alive sing it for the world, sing it from the heart, sing ti 'til you're nuts, sing it out for the ones that'll hate your guts.  The world is alive, the world is amazing, and I feel great. 

I stop as something in the tv shop catches my eye. I am drawn to the subtitles 'Johnny won't you come back home, cos every one knows that you don't want to give yourself up tell the truth and God will save you'.  There a a poor boy in trouble, needing our help.... you'll get a five second warning for divine intervention with the satellites falling, prepare for ascension, as the earth looks on. 

I get to my knees knowing that the whole world is in trouble.  If I had got this news only a few hours earlier I would not have cared.  As it stands I have found a new lease of life, cutting down my Christmas list this year, I'm gone, I'm out, I'm in a penthouse in the basement, trying to make my life better.  Wanting to make things better.  Instead the soft lips are open, them knuckles in pale, feels like you're dying, your dying... I head for the light.