Yet another dream

I had another one of my dreams last night. It felt so real. It's insane how I want this to happen to me. This can not be normal.

I can still feel and remember the entire thing in detail. These dreams are dreams that I alway's remember in detail. Other dreams fade, but not these. These dreams awake something up inside of me. Make me feel real. Isn't it insane the way that for me to feel real I have to dream, be alseep. That is not normal at all. I know that, we all know that. But I can't help the way I feel.

Germany was bad. It didn't do much for me. I became really depressed at one point, and thought about cutting myself. In fact the only thing that stopped me was my inability to find something to cut myself with. I cried and cried. I couldn't cope. I had to spend one day locked in my room crying and sleeping to feel even slightly better. Then I drank myself to sleep. I have to find a better way of dealing with these feelings.

I also have some other news, but that needs to wait unti next week. I promised I would tell people until I have told one special person. One I've told them I will blab it all to the world.