Dogged A Bullet

I've had a swollen and very painful right breast for a few months today, when the pain got too bad I went to the doctors.  Today I had my appointment at the breast care clinic.

It all came back clear, I have a fatty deposit which is causing pain.  I have to take evening primrose for the next few months.

However, is it bad that I wish I had been told I had cancer.  I want to give up, but I don't want the world to see that I've given up.  At least with cancer I can have it, make it look like I'm fighting but really, inside I'm allowing it to kill me.

How bad a person am I!!!!