What the hell have I done

I'm freaking out a little. I'm so desperate for S, and my feelings for him are so intense and I don't know what to do with it that. I dream about him, I ache for him. I have never felt this way about anyone like this ever. I even wonder what it would be like to sleep with him. He is the only guy I have honestly and truly imagined myself sleeping with.

So with all this going on and being so desperate for him I did something that I'm pretty sure is the dumbest thing I have ever done. I bought myself a love potion (or love spell I can't remember) which I can cast on him.

I know I shouldn't do this but I am so desperate for him I just don't know what else to do. He's rejected me but he is still giving me signs that he wants me, even my friends are confused by him. If they hadn't known he had rejected me they would have tried to get me to ask him out. They think he is attracted to me.

What harm can it do though, really?