Relationships

I've had a lot of people ask me lately if I'm ever going to settle down. I mean I'm 24. I don't feel ready to settle down, not with a partner anyway. The problem comes though is that I've not dated since I was 18. Everytime I feel I'm getting to close to someone I back off.

I have done a lot of reflection about this. I am afraid of relationships. I can not keep friendships. I get myself worked up and ill at just the thought of being in a realtionship. I don't think it helps that i've never beded a guy. I'm very nervous at the thought of sex. I don't think I've afraid of it, I've never wanted it, and never felt as though I'm missing out by not having sex. But it is a big part of my fear of relationships. That and men. I've never had a male role model. I hate having a man in the house, espcially over night. If I ever settle down I feel sorry for the poor guy.

In the meantime what am I to do? I want a baby, that much I do know, that and I don't want to bring my child(ren) up by myself. So what do I do?